Glow
by Sarcastic-Undertones
Summary: Sometimes there just isn't an easy answer. Nothing is black and white in this world. There are shades of grey but occasionally we just know our minds will never be changed, no matter what we are giving up. Entry for the Cullen's Bullpen Challenge.


**A/N:** Hello everyone! I haven't submitted much lately but when I saw this challenge I just had to. :D This fic takes place after "The Mother and Child in the Bay." Hope you're all enjoying this new season as much as me. Thanks to my wonderful beta Aya and I hope all you guys enjoy!

**Glow**

It was a Thursday night. The case was wrapped up. It was a day after Booth's dinner with Parker. Winter had firmly set in. Steam was condensing on the diner's windows and something was on Booth's mind. Something he needed to get off his chest.

"That conversation earlier…" Booth began. He wasn't too sure how to proceed. It wasn't exactly earlier it had been days ago, and yet it plagued his thoughts. His confidence was quickly dissipating. Bringing this up was asking for it but he had to ask.

Brennan wiped the ketchup from the side of her mouth looking up giving him her full attention. "What conversation?"

There was only one way he could think of to approach this so he resolved to quit hesitating and dive right in. He needed to know this no matter the consequences.

"You asked Cam if she ever wanted kids," he eyed her. Trying to wager how she was going to take it.

Brennan's hand sneaked across the table grabbing another one of Booth's fries. Stealing fries was becoming a habit of hers he noticed. He made a note to file that away for future comebacks, what he was really doing was trying to distract himself from what was coming.

She avoided eye contact, busying herself with eating instead.

This wasn't going well and he hadn't even asked her his question yet. The pause seemed to go on for an eternity as he waited for her answer.

"That was hardly a conversation," she retorted biting the fry, swallowing and then wincing as the hot food burned the roof of her mouth. She reached for her water and gulped.

"Okay well you asked her and then…" he watched her lick her lips. God, that woman drove him crazy. How could she make something as diminutive as that so sexy? It was because she didn't ever realise the effect she had over him. No, Bone's sexiness aside he had to stay on track, "…you asked her and then you looked at me."

"Booth, what has this got to do with anything?"

That was a question he could barely answer himself. Why was he asking this? Why was he embarking on this road…? Well it was safer than asking her straight out. Bone's moods were bad enough as they were. It didn't take much to get her snippy so who knew what she'd be like now if… His eyes followed her tongue as it reappeared savouring the salty goodness. He was mesmerized, but no, wandering off into his own thoughts about Bones and her lips was not an option here. He needed to concentrate on the task at hand.

"Is there any reason you looked at me?" he waited, unsure what she would say. This was a start at least.

"You were part of the conversation so I thought I was supposed to include you. Isn't that one of those rules you've been trying to get me to follow? There's a section on inclusion on chapter 3 of that book I've been reading about improving work relationships. Am I doing it wrong? I'm doing it wrong aren't I?"

"Whoa, whoa Bones. This has nothing to do with the book. In fact you're doing everything by the book, it's all good-"

"So you're saying I'm imitating the book correctly?" she asked a hint of hope evident.

She was so cute when she looked for reassurance, not that she wasn't cute all the time and not that she asked for reassure regularly but it wasn't often he saw this in her and it was…nice.

"Yes, well sort of, anyway that's not the point."

It wasn't the point. It was way off the point.

"It's not?" she was wearing that 'I don't know what that means' expression he observed.

"It's not," he confirmed, it definitely wasn't the point.

"What _is_ the point then?" she was clearly growing agitated.

"The point is…" The point was… what was the point? It was just a simple question. He interrogated people for a living why fall at this hurdle?

"Just say whatever it is Booth. You can tell me, we're partners. I won't take it badly..."

He eyed her suspiciously.

"Okay, so I'll try not to take it too badly," she held her palms out in a surrender motion. A motion he was sure he hadn't seen her do before. She was certainty picking things up. Picking things up from him, he told himself smugly.

They sat in silence. An order for a double cheese burger was hollered by the occupant's three tables down. A man in his forties exited the restaurant, a paper bag seeped in grease clutched in his hand. A wintry breeze blew from the opened door and invaded the diner making Tempe's curls dance.

He had to ask. He took a deep breath.

"You're not pregnant, are you?"

"What? No! Absolutely not! Why would you think that?" she burst into life denying, her own accusation in her eyes.

Okay, so she wasn't. He hadn't really thought she was but the way she had looked at him… He played it off.

"No reason, it's just you've been bringing up the subject a lot lately and…"

She _had_ been talking about it more and more.

"I was involved in the case; I was trying to understand more. That does _not_ mean I'm pregnant. This is just another instance in which you start jumping to conclusions. Where were your facts?"

Typical Bones, facts, facts and more facts, the fact was… she was right.

"I didn't have any. I just thought that maybe you and David you know…"

Okay he had to admit this was sounding a little out there but he could have sworn his gut was telling him something.

"I haven't had a date with David for months and even if I had and even if I was pregnant, it wouldn't be any of your business," she folded her arms across her chest and raised her chin, challenging him.

"Look, I understand you're annoyed but-"

"Annoyed?"

"Okay, hurt, annoyed, ready to castrate me but I just want you to tell me that if you ever were in that situation you'd let me know."

He meant it. He'd want to know.

"The pregnancy starts to show at three to four months so it's not as if you wouldn't know already," she leaned forward hoping to emphasise her brand of logical explanation. "I'd never be in that situation anyway."

"Bones, if you were to have a child..."

"Booth-"

He held up his hand in request for silence, "Just let me get this out Bones."

She sat back in her seat, more relaxed yet still ready to pounce in, to counteract the argument if needed be.

"If you were to have a child, I'd want to be part of their life. I'd want to help you, to go through it with you."

Why was he telling her this?

"If I were to have a child, which I'm not, why would you want to be part of its life?"

There was that "it" terminology. The practise of putting her heart in a box seemed like it would never let up, even if it was her personal life she was examining rather than bones.

"Because," he was squirming and he knew it. What could he say? Because I love you, because the child would be mine. Because we'd have a family. Because we'd be together. No he couldn't say those things.

"Because we're partners," he stated with a distant smile.

"That would have nothing to do with my being pregnant."

Wouldn't it, he mused. No, it probably wouldn't, his heart answered forlornly.

"No, _probably_ not but, I'd want to help you and I would," he stated firmly hoping for the love of God that she didn't notice the probably…

Temperance's eyes widened ever so slightly. She noticed the probably, her feelings were confirmed. She had suspected it for a while but finally receiving the confirmation was still a shock. Booth did want that with _her_. Booth did want what she couldn't give him. That was why they could never be together. There would never be a baby. She never wanted children. She knew she was sacrificing a lot but she couldn't let herself have children, ever.

She gazed into his eyes. He had no idea.

She was sacrificing more than a lot, she was sacrificing him. She could never ever, ever do it to him though. She had been lied to by the people she loved the most and she couldn't do that to this loved one. She loved him and for that reason and that reason alone she couldn't lure him into a false belief or a false hope that she would one day want kids, that one day she would change her mind and have his kids. It would never happen and therefore they could never happen.

Last night she had dreamt of what it would be like. She had imagined their house, their white picket fence and their kids. Dreams were fictional though and the dream would never become a reality because she wouldn't put him through what she knew was a shattered illusion.

She looked away and wiped a patch clear on the foggy window. The street light illuminated a woman rolling a stroller along the street, a man with his arm draped casually round her shoulder. Temperance's eyes watered slightly, it was just how Booth draped _his_ arm around _her_ shoulder. Blinking through the tears she was holding at bay she fixed her stare on the mother. She had that glow about her, the glow only a mother could have. It was cold outside and the sky threatened rain but the woman was glowing and Tempe knew why. That would never be her though. She would never glow. She traced the woman's outline in the window. Her finger warm against the frosty glass.

"Bones?" he broke the silence.

"Mmm?" she turned toward him. She met his concerned eyes and another piece of her heart cracked.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she offered him a faint smile.

"I'm sorry if I crossed the line."

"You didn't." She shook her head slightly, she'd never let that happen. The line would never be crossed between them.

"Good."

Yes, it was for the best she told herself.

"Booth?"

"Yeah Bones?"

"Thank you," her voice broke ever so faintly and a single tear fell.

He reached across the table and wiped the tear away with his thumb.

"For what?"

She caught his hand in hers.

"For being my partner."

**Comments (good or bad) will be very much appreciated. I hope you liked but if you didn't that's all well and good too. I'm not too sure about this myself but that doesn't really matter I want to know what _you _thought... Thank you for reading and thank you even more if you review. :D**


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